


Misunderstood

by Kaori (Kayozuki)



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18484336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayozuki/pseuds/Kaori
Summary: An inexplicable encounter leaves Tsugumi disconcerted. Luckily, her friends are there to lend some assistance...





	1. Chapter 1

It was the midst of April. Hazawa Tsugumi was now in her second year of high school. Lately, everything had been flowing smoothly for her. Everyone from Afterglow was finally assigned to the same class, and they had celebrated Ran’s birthday just the other day, which served as a double commemoration. In addition, she was elected vice-president of the student council, with Hina taking the helm as president. It was reassuring since it was somebody Tsugumi was familiar with. Even if she couldn't fathom the prodigy's vocabulary at times, she was a capable person who could be relied upon. Significant events like these provided as a basis for contentment, gratitude and jubilation.

_Except for a single pressing matter!_

Unfortunately, a brief, recent recollection which was so insignificantly trivial had bored itself into the depths of Tsugumi’s mind! It acted like a stubborn parasite, draining all other sources of positivity, and that dreadful scene was drilled so intensely into her memory that it replayed over and over in her head! Even now, as she was preparing to close up shop on a crisp, Friday evening—

"Hi Tsugu!" A bright voice accompanied the soft clinking of the door as Himari ambled into the café.

"Himari-chan!" The abrupt sound broke Tsugumi out of her rumination, and she glanced up with a smile, giving her a small wave. Every so often, it was customary for the bassist to drop by during closing time, though she really only visited to rant about anything under the sun. Still, Tsugumi didn’t mind; it felt nice to contribute as an outlet for Himari’s troubles — no matter how trifling they seemed at times. "I didn’t expect you to be here today since band practice had only just ended. More things to talk about today?"

"There’s that, but there’s also Tomoe’s birthday!" Himari cheered, skipping over to sit at the table beside Tsugumi’s. "It’s coming up next Monday, and I’ve already bought her present. Since we wrapped Ran’s birthday present here, I thought you might have some leftover wrapping paper and ribbons we could use."

"Oh, right!" Tsugumi scurried over to the back of the counter, fetching the aforementioned materials from the drawer, including a pair of scissors and some tape. "My mom had to use some for the customers, but there should still be enough."

"Thanks~! We can also discuss about what to do with the cake! I was thinking that we’d try baking it ourselves this time—"

"Hii-chan... you’re being too enthusiastic. We’ve more important things at hand to discuss..."

"Moca-chan!" Tsugumi whipped around, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "It’s rare to see you here at a time like this!"

"She wanted to accompany me after practice to help pick out Tomoe’s present, but I know she has an ulterior motive in mind," Himari's lower lip protruded into a sulky pout as she brandished the new pair of drumsticks at Moca.

"That’s right," the guitarist drawled, sliding past the door which was left ajar to join the pink-haired girl. "Moca-chan could’ve been lying on her bed right now, sinking into her wonderful dreams about the tastiest bread... but! Hii-chan was visiting anyway, so it was a good opportunity to tag along and ask you something."

"Not even denying it!" Himari tapped Moca's head with the drumsticks, an indignant look etched on her face. "But still, I don’t think there’s a need to be so invasive..."

"Hmm?" Tsugumi's curious gaze alternated between the pair whilst her hands worked swiftly on the table’s surface with a ragged piece of cloth. She hadn’t the smallest clue on what was so urgent that warranted an immediate answer. "I don’t mind at all, but you could’ve just sent a text message or asked me earlier during practice."

"It’s not that simple," Moca replied with an evasive smile. "The problem will be dealt with much more quickly with your physical presence."

Even Himari was nodding, albeit wearing a conflicted expression.

"Ahaha..." Tsugumi's laughter fizzled off awkwardly. With how the duo was behaving, a bad premonition had settled inside her, sparking off the warning signal to flee from the situation. Despite that, her legs ignored the desperate protests from the body, dragging her over to the other end of their table where she took her seat instead. "So what's the matter?"

"Ahh." Moca pointed a decisive finger at Tsugumi. "That’s exactly what we were gonna ask—"

"You've been acting weird since band practice started!" Himari burst out, immediately contradicting her initial stance on intrusiveness. "You were fine in school, but from the time we were at the studio, you became pretty distracted. See, even now, your eyes look glazed over, like you're mulling over something! What's bothering you, Tsugu? Did something happen?!"

Tsugumi grimaced inwardly. As expected of her childhood friends of over ten years. Nothing could escape their watchful eyes! Their attentiveness was a double-edged sword, but in this instance, the blade was poised dangerously on her end. She appreciated their concern, but… she was reluctant to confide in them. It was too humiliating, and they were sure to poke fun at her if they knew!

"W-Was it that obvious?" she asked, attempting to drag it out with the sinking knowledge that it was futile to do so.

"Hmm…" Moca put a finger on her chin, examining the ceiling thoughtfully. "I don't think it could be any clearer when you were stumbling toward my guitar, thinking it was your keyboard. That wasn't Tsugurific at all."

Oh. So it had nothing to do with their alertness. It was because she was behaving like a ditz.

"Out with it, Tsugu!" Himari pressed on, while her hands twirled a roll of wrapping paper around Tomoe's present. "No use hiding it from us! Remember the other time when you kept saying you were fine and then you collapsed—"

"Alright, alright!" The keyboardist cried out, flailing her arms wildly. Skirting around the topic was only worsening the situation. "I'll talk, just— promise not to laugh, okay...?"

It was probably just her imagination, but Tsugumi thought she spotted the slightest glint in Moca's bluish eyes as she shrugged. "I mean, there are a bunch of noteworthy _achievements_ that Hii-chan had accomplished herself, so I don't think it's gonna be that bad."

"Did I somehow offend you during our past lives, Moca?!" The bassist bristled, poking at her with the sticks which were already neatly wrapped by its beholder. "Why are you being so mean today?!"

"It's only mean if you think it is…" Moca said airily. Her head tilted downwards. "Anyway… are you poking at my chest because you're jealous that your nutrition's funneled to your own instead of your head…?"

"What?! I dare you to say that again!"

"It's only mean if you think it is… anyway—"

_A chance to escape!_

Ordinarily, Tsugumi would have stepped in to cease the incessant bickering, but under these circumstances, her priority rested on keeping her secret safe! As quietly as possible, she rose to her feet furtively, trying her best not to let the chair scrape against the floor...

_"Sit down, Tsugu."_

The pair of voices rang out dangerously in unison, even as the duo continued to glare at each other. Well, at least Himari was. Moca merely looked entertained from the unfolding chain of events. Nevertheless, Tsugumi gulped, finally giving up and dropping back onto her chair.

"Now, let's hear it." Himari flipped back to Tsugumi, her countenance instantaneously reverting to that of a paranoid mother being overly concerned for her child. "I swear on Moca's life that we won't tease you."

Tsugumi inhaled deeply, bracing herself for the worst. She began with the one sentence which had been constantly plaguing her thoughts since the occurrence of that incident.

"I… I think she's angry with me."

 

* * *

 

Tsugumi was sitting in the lounge of CiRCLE, having arrived early as usual. None of her friends were there yet, so it was just her hanging around, sipping on some canned coffee while she waited for Afterglow's session to commence.

"Oh, Tsugumi-chan!" A warm voice floated over as a livehouse staff came into view from the corner, her outstretched arms loaded with a stack of cardboard boxes which were piled one atop the other. "I see that you're early as always. As expected of a student council member, setting a good example for the rest."

"Good afternoon Marina-san." Tsugumi returned the greeting with a smile. "I just like being early, that's all."

_But that was a lie!_

It was well established that Tsugumi's an early bird to a fault, but her motivation for showing up prematurely to band practice had altered within the past year. Now, it was all because of a certain girl, and she was determined to see her, even if it was only for a short while. Even if she could only catch a momentary glimpse, it would be more than satisfactory. Tsugumi had verified her sessions' time slots beforehand—by casually asking a fellow band member of hers—and had taken it upon herself to book the studio directly after that!

Though their friendship had strengthened through the months, Tsugumi felt it wasn't sufficient. Since they were attending different schools, the interactions that they shared were limited to the sporadic baking sessions or shopping sprees, and the occasional text conversations whenever there was something relatively important to discuss. She wasn't brave enough to initiate anything beyond that, and it had become progressively difficult to do so, since her level of self-consciousness had scaled accordingly with each passing encounter.

Arranging for their meetings to be a 'coincidence' was the best she could do for now.

But of course she couldn't admit that to Marina. That would make her sound like the protagonist of a shoujo manga, who had fallen so helplessly in love with the said person that she would resort to such lengths, and she was confident that she hadn't adopted such an undesirable trait (she had).

"Do you need any help with carrying those?"

"It's fine, I'll manage," Marina chirped. "Thanks for asking though! Anyway, it seems like Roselia's done with their session, so you're up next. Keep up the good work!"

As she vanished toward the back of the room, the door to the studio creaked open and the members of Roselia emerged from the room, filing through the corridor which led to where the keyboardist was sitting. Tsugumi bolted upright, stiffening her back in an attempt to look more dignified.

Yukina showed up first, giving her an acknowledging nod as she proceeded toward the exit. Ako and Rinko didn't notice Tsugumi as they trailed behind their leader — they were exchanging animatedly about a game of some sort. They were followed by Lisa, whose lips had curled upwards into a knowing grin. She winked impishly, patting Tsugumi on the shoulder before breaking into a jog to catch up with the trio.

Tsugumi waited with bated breath for the final member to make her appearance. Her heart was racing uncontrollably, and her mind had turned blank. Everything was planned up to this point, but the rest had been lamentably left for fate to decide.

_What was she going to say?_

_A simple greeting? Aim to strike up a conversation after that? What would she ask then? How school had been since they hadn't made any contact since the first day? Or maybe if she was making any headway into baking? She did mention before that she was interested to try her hand at making some brownie cookies…_

Lost in her musings, a flash of teal from her peripheral vision brought Tsugumi back to reality.

It's now or never!

"Sayo-san! Good work today!" She called frantically to the passing guitarist.

The third-year student came to a halt. She shot a cursory glance behind and nodded curtly with narrowed eyes, before stalking out of the building without a single word.

Tsugumi stood rooted to the spot, gaping at Sayo's back in bewilderment even after the door had closed behind her. She was muddled with confusion. Those few seconds would return to persistently haunt her from that point onward.

_W-What just happened?!_

Tsugumi had been flung into foreign territory! Never had there been an occasion where she had received such treatment from Sayo. She must've done something to anger Sayo within that short span of time...

 

* * *

 

"—and that's it," Tsugumi finished sheepishly.

Himari's mouth had widened into a perfect circle as she slowly digested the barrage of words from the keyboardist.

"Silly, isn't it?" Tsugumi smiled weakly.

"Don't say that! Maybe she was just in a bad mood! You can't assume that it was your fault just because she was being scary…" the bassist offered.

Tsugumi thought back to that sequence for the umpteenth time, vividly recollecting those green, alluring, enchanting, _menacing_ eyes—

"It can't be that simple," she flinched, trying to shake the terrifying image from her imagination.

Meanwhile, Moca had somehow gotten hold of Tsugumi's phone during her recount, and was tapping on the screen with a peculiar expression on her face.

"Here Tsugu…" She said, thrusting her arm out. "Take a look at the text and see if it's suitable to send over. You can't just sit around and do nothing."

"Alright…" she mumbled hesitantly, retrieving the phone from Moca's outstretched hand. She was right. Otherwise, she would be dwelling endlessly over the issue without producing any productive results.

As she clutched onto her phone, a fleeting vibration was emitted, which signalled the initiation of a new call.

"Hello?"

Tsugumi's hands fumbled and she nearly dropped the device. "S-Sayo-san?! Why…?"

"I should be asking you that, Hazawa-san," came the clipped reply. "You were the one who called."

Tsugumi was dumbstruck for a moment before the realization hit her. Moca wasn't typing out a message; she was looking for Sayo's contact number to dial! Panic-stricken, her brain scrambled to find an excuse, but she was too distraught to come up with an adequate answer.

_Could this dire state of affairs get any worse?!_

"Sayo-san…" Moca suddenly spoke up. "Tsugu would like to invite you for a walk outside right now."

_Yes._

_"Moca-chan?!?!"_ she cast a horrified gaze at her friend, silently mouthing the words. _"What in the world are you doing?!"_

"Y'know, for some fresh air." She added smugly, giving Tsugumi a thumbs up. On the other hand, the shade of red on Himari's cheeks had deepened while she stared at the phone, as though _she_ were the one who was compelled to talk to Sayo.

The silence that followed was unbearable. For a split second, Tsugumi feared that the Roselia member had already hung up after listening to such a brazen request, until it was brought to her attention that the line was still connected. _What was she thinking then?_

_She had to say something, anything! Say that Moca was merely pulling a fast one— but wouldn't that just anger Sayo further?!_

"I— um, only if you'd like of course, Sayo-san… since you must be busy and all…" she trailed off lamely.

_Ahhh! She just wanted to dissolve and fuse with the table, where she would be protected from the scrutiny of the overwhelming societal pressure emanating from this room. That would be comforting…_

"Sure."

"EEEH?!" Himari and Tsugumi shrieked simultaneously, before cupping their hands over their mouths in shock.

"It's getting late, so let's not stray too far from our homes," the voice crackled softly from the phone's speaker, disregarding their tumultuous outburst. "Shall we meet at the park in half an hour?"

Tsugumi was nonplussed. This was definitely a dream, it had to be. Sayo was unquestionably still in a foul mood, so why…?

"Hazawa-san?"

"Tsugu!" Himari hissed. "Your answer!"

"Huh? Oh— yes, of course! I... I'll see you there!" She managed to squeak out, being acutely aware of the incremental rise in pitch of her voice with each uttered word.

A final, incomprehensible noise leaked from the phone, and the line went dead.

The cogs in Tsugumi's brain had jammed up, and they were grinding furiously against one another in a hopeless attempt to pull herself together.

She was exhausted.

A sense of quietude had assumed control over the room. Himari watched Tsugumi nervously, clearly at a loss on how to comfort her. Moca however, had leaned forward, and was examining her closely with gleaming eyes, like a mad scientist in utter fascination with her experimental subject.

Tsugumi wasn't sure how many minutes had elapsed, but something told her that she couldn't stay a mess forever. There was a crucial appointment looming ahead, and she would be running late if she were to stick around any longer.

"Umm…" she mumbled to break the uncomfortable silence, having finally forced her thoughts back into some semblance of order. "I'll need to lock up the café since my parents aren't around, so you guys will have to leave..."

"O-Of course! Don't you worry about Tomoe's birthday," Himari said quickly, jumping to her feet. "Just focus on winning Sayo's heart!"

"I'm telling you guys, it's not like what you think it is…" Tsugumi sighed. She didn't want them blowing things out of proportion. It was just a simple crush, an infatuation that will pass with time, and nothing more than that!

"Come to think of it... when is Sayo-san's birthday?" Moca asked.

"March 20th," Tsugumi replied instinctively, but instantly regretted her answer as her bandmates nodded gravely in response. " _What?"_

"You've done your homework…" Moca observed, picking up the unused ribbons on the table. "Too bad it's already over. You could've turned up looking like this—" she sauntered over, draping the strips over Tsugumi’s shoulders, and added a short piece to her hair for good measure.

"What are you doing now…?"

“—and then you tell Sayo-san this.” Moca pushed Tsugumi’s phone—which she had sneakily grabbed once again while adorning Tsugumi—in front of her eyes. “Read it aloud.”

Tsugumi squinted at the miniscule words in the textbox. “Sayo-san… Happy birthday… this year… I'll be your present—”

She could virtually feel the steam being ejected out of her reddened ears as her psyche wandered aimlessly into the forbidden domain, visualizing the unspeakable. Just like the protagonist of a shoujo manga.

"Moca-chan!"

“That's actually a really romantic-sounding statement...” Himari muttered, contemplating dreamily into the darkening sky as the duo were pushed out of the store by the keyboardist. "We'll be rooting for you, Tsugu! Be sure to update us on what happens!"

"My job here is done," Moca proclaimed proudly. "I'll leave the rest to you, Tsugu..."


	2. Chapter 2

Dusk had fallen over the city with the sun peeking over the horizon, about to descend into its nightly slumber. As darkness crept upon the lush greenery of the park, the lamps flickered, brightening the rosy sakura flowers which were scattered plentifully over the dampened grass. Though the cherry blossom viewing season had ended a week ago, it was indisputable that whatever remained was still a sight to behold. A handful of youthful couples were littered across the area to admire the scenery, who were probably keen on avoiding the crowd during the peak season. 

Tsugumi could only look on wistfully as she slumped against her bench.

It wasn't as if she were short on happiness, but… she wished she could experience theirs.

By this point, Tsugumi was worn out, thanks to everything that had transpired during the day — mostly from Moca's shenanigans. But she couldn't be blamed, could she? Without her help, Tsugumi wouldn't have this opportunity to hash things out with Sayo, to discover the reason behind her moodiness. 

And now, she added physical exhaustion to the list, due to her incessant worrying about being late from her idling in the café after her call with Sayo. She had made a mad dash to the park after her friends left, and arrived ten minutes early as a result. 

Thankfully though, her anxieties were also being expunged by the fatigue. Tsugumi assured herself that she didn't care any longer; all she desired for was a much needed, meaningful conversation with Sayo. So she waited.

And waited.

And waited…

Tsugumi checked the time on her phone after what felt like an eternity. Half an hour had ticked by since the stipulated meeting time, and there was still no sign of the third-year student. Every so often, she would swivel her head left and right, her stomach tightening uncomfortably with each passing second. Her free hand gripped onto the rigid material of the armrest until it hurt.

Maybe Sayo had decided not to come in the end. Maybe she'd finally woken up to the absurdity of her (Moca's) request, came to her senses, and stood her up. Yes, that was perfectly logical.

Or was it…?

She'd been friends with Sayo for at least half a year now. Tsugumi was familiar with her ins and outs from the time they had spent together. She would _never_ do something like this, no matter the circumstances. She was the epitome of principlism — an enchanting, enthralling person of interest who strictly kept to the code of honor. After all, she was a member of the disciplinary committee.

_Which meant… that Sayo was in trouble? Had she met with an accident? What if she had been mugged? Or worse, kidnapped?!_

Tsugumi shook the probabilities out of her mind, as each scenario progressively advanced into something more chilling than the last. Evidently, scaring herself silly was not helping. She unlocked her phone and scrolled through her contacts instead, stopping at the intended number. An uneasy index finger lingered over the call icon.

_This is fine._

She tapped it, and slowly lifted the phone to rest it against her ear.

Each beep mimicked the wild pounding that was vibrating intensely within her chest.

After exactly 34.25 seconds, the line finally clicked. Her breath hitched.

"H-hello?"

"Hello Tsugu-chan~!" A buoyant voice wafted from the speaker. "Do you need something with Onee-chan?"

"Hina-senpai…?"

She paused. Hang on. If the phone was picked up by Hina, that meant Sayo was at home. Which also indicated that… she ultimately never had the intention of coming. Tsugumi could already feel her heart sinking into the depths, further down than the Titanic could ever aspire to reach. 

Even so, she had to ask. She'd already went through the trouble of calling anyway.

"I was just wondering… Sayo-san and I arranged to meet at the park a while ago, and she hasn't showed up yet—"

"Oh!" Hina cried out in excitement. "That would explain why I found Onee-chan collapsed at our front door when I returned home from the agency! I guess she was just about to leave to meet you."

The words hit Tsugumi like a truck, and she bolted to her feet. Her mind was reeling from the shock. One of her many damning premonitions had actually been prophesied.

"Wh-what happened to Sayo-san?! Is she okay?!"

She cursed herself inwardly for even having deliberated over the possibility of that occurrence. Bad Tsugu! Stupid Tsugu!

"Well…" Hina's tone dimmed slightly. "She's currently running a high fever. I'll probably have to take her to the doctor's in the morning if her condition doesn't stabilize by then. But it doesn't appear to be serious apart from that."

"That's good…"

Tsugumi looked up in an unspoken prayer of thankfulness. Partly because it seemed Sayo would be alright, and partly because she had ascertained that her initial fears were unwarranted. On the other hand, she felt guilty. It was her fault that Sayo pushed herself to leave her home in spite of her illness. 

As she lamented over the situation, she'd forgotten that the line was still connected, and was promptly yanked back by Hina's voice. "Hey hey, Tsugu-chan. You said that you and Onee-chan were supposed to meet up, right? Why don't you come over in that case?"

"Wha—?" Tsugumi halted with widened eyes. Her mouth opened like a goldfish, before snapping itself shut. "I really shouldn't be causing anymore trouble for Sayo-san. She wouldn't have fainted if we didn't agree on our appointment in the first place."

"Nah, you didn't know. Neither did I. She was lookin' all boppin' when I woke her up in the morning, even though she nearly overslept. Which was pretty rare, come to think of it."

"But…"

"If you're really feeling responsible and want to make amends, then you should come over to look after her, right?" Hina pressed on. Unfortunately, Tsugumi could already picture her eyes twinkling mischievously.

She fell silent. 

There were no classes tomorrow, and her schedule's freed up for the earlier half of the day. It would be fine to pop in for a while to check on Sayo.

Adding on to the fact that it would be a crime to deny this grand opportunity which was being handed to her on a silver platter.

"Alright..." Tsugumi conceded, already starting to shuffle her feet in the opposite direction she entered the park from. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Great! I'll see you in a bit, Vice-Prez."

Lowering her phone, she tapped out a quick message to her parents to inform them that she had stepped out for a bit, and would be home late. After some careful consideration, she sent another to the Afterglow group chat, updating the girls on the developments.

Tsugumi sighed. She should really learn to be more assertive. She faced no problems in going all out with regards to band-related stuff and the student council, but when it came to Sayo...

Really, these emotions swirling inside her felt like déjà vu. How long had it been since her constant state of helplessness whenever the most crucial moments arose, especially in Sayo's presence? She was always racking her brain to come up with the simplest of words, just to maintain an average conversation with Sayo. She was always watching from afar with the longing admiration that she held dearly in her heart, only to be imprisoned by fear.

The fear of rejection. Incompatibility.

It could have all been easily blamed on love. This ill-fated sentiment had been devouring her confidence for months. But she knew better, that it should truly be attributed to cowardice. Tsugumi was sick of it. She had to take the initiative for once, or she would be confined within the bounds of this stagnant loop until it was too late. 

She sorely missed those times when talking to Sayo normally was… well, normal.

But at the same time, she wasn't satisfied with that alone. Tsugumi wanted _more_ . She wanted to become someone _special_ to Sayo, to become an integral part of her life.

Her phone jangled in the pocket of her sweater. She fished it out and unlocked it to see her parents' acknowledgement of her earlier message. Himari and Tomoe had replied as well, wishing her the best of luck. Ran had merely left a read receipt as usual, and Moca hadn't read the message at all. She was probably already asleep, given how "much" she had travelled around today.

Tsugumi managed a smile despite herself. With the undying support from her childhood friends, it would vitalize her with the courage to push on.

 

* * *

 

"Here, Tsugu-chan! You're gonna need this."

Tsugumi looked up nervously. She was sitting in the living room of the Hikawa residence, and it wasn't her first time here; she'd visited twice before, and both occasions were dedicated to the sole purpose of baking. But it was different this time.

Hina was holding on to a small ramekin—which contained a few pills—and a clear glass of water. She set the items lightly on the coffee table, before jumping onto the sofa next to Tsugumi's.

"Thank you, Hina-senpai."

Hina hummed in acknowledgement, reaching out for some papers which were unsystematically strewn across the fabric of her seat. On closer inspection, Tsugumi vaguely discerned them to be the budget proposals for Haneoka's forthcoming cultural festival, and for the school's clubs. She recalled that a few of the sports clubs were in the midst of appealing for a budget rise, but the school board was against the proposition, resulting in a ton of work for Hina and their treasurer as they were being caught in the crossfire. 

"Onee-chan's asleep now, but I still think you should go in anyway," she mumbled, flipping through the forms with a dull expression plastered on her face. "She looks so boppin' cute when she's sleeping..."

"S-she does?"

Hina laughed, a tinkling melody which diffused throughout the room. "Absolutely! Don't you want to see it?" 

Tsugumi couldn't stop her mind from straying to the paradisiacal realm once more. Visualizing Sayo's sleepy appearance as she rose from a deep sleep. Feeding her the medicine. Showering her with all the love and care like— 

She squeezed her eyes tightly for a moment to reset the processing of her brain.

"But… shouldn't we let Sayo-san rest properly?"

"Oh c'mon, I really don't understand why you're being so reluctant," Hina groaned in mock exasperation, waving the bunch of papers in Tsugumi's face. "If you're not gonna go, then you'll be staying here to sort this mess out with me!"

"Ugh…"

As much as she would rather lend her assistance to Hina, she had come all this way to accomplish an important mission. There was no backing out now!

"Hmm..." Hina mused, shooting a mysterious stare at Tsugumi. "By any chance, are you familiar with the model of the psyche according to Sigmund Freud?"

Tsugumi was stumped. She was aware of the existence of a Sigmund Freud, but only because she had heard Kaoru quote him in passing. Moreover, what was with this random question?

"Umm, not really… I believe he's a huge contributor to the field of psychology, if I'm not mistaken?"

"Right! To put it simply, all human actions are determined by one's id and superego." Hina suddenly launched into a monologue, as if she were reciting from an encyclopedia which specialized in psychology. "The id drives a person's primitive instincts, while the superego acts as a _brake_ to keep the id under control. However, when the superego's foundation is inhibited—for example, due to sickness—people start to lose their sense of reasoning, and they deteriorate into beasts who only proceed according to their ids…"

Tsugumi nodded. She was starting to connect the dots together. "So what you're saying is that Sayo-san becomes an uncontrollable beast…?" 

She couldn't imagine that happening.

"Those are exaggerated cases," Hina continued to explain. "For Onee-chan, it applies to a lesser degree. You know how uptight she always is, right? Well, with her defenses down, she's gonna be way more honest about herself if you ask her anything, I'd bet. The last time she was down with a high fever, she openly admitted her love for dogs! Now that's a boppin' moment I'll never forget! I should've recorded it though..."

She sighed contentedly in reminiscence.

Meanwhile, Tsugumi's ears had perked up. If that were true, then it was a good chance to ask Sayo about what she truly thought of her…

"Also, I'm not sure why this happens to Onee-chan, but her senses are hindered when she's sick. She can't smell or taste anything, her auditory capabilities are impeded, and she even has minor hallucinations sometimes. Like, I tried talking to her once, and she thought I was Mom instead! Pretty funny, don't you think?"

Was that really okay for someone who was down with the common flu?

"On the contrary, it actually sounds pretty concerning…"

"Well, in any case," Hina sprang from the sofa, sending her papers flying into disarray once more. She tugged on Tsugumi's arm, dragging her to her feet. Thrusting the painkillers and water into her hands, the president ushered her to the door of Sayo's room. "Time's a-wastin'! I'm not sure why the two of you were gonna meet when it was already late, but I'm guessing it's much too important to leave for tomorrow."

Tsugumi let out an unintelligible croak of agreement. She could feel herself getting cold feet again.

Hina smiled in response. She turned the knob, revealing the murkiness that was the interior of Sayo's room. 

"Have fun! I'm expecting a full report on what happened to be inputted into the school's database by Monday," she whispered jokingly, and pushed Tsugumi inside without waiting for a reply, shutting the door behind her.

The curtains were drawn slightly, which permitted the dimmed moonlight to bathe its silvery lustre over the room, providing her with some form of visibility. Tsugumi waited for a few seconds for her eyes acclimatize to the darkness, before starting to inch forward.

The room was minimalistic in design: the walls were coated with a cool beige, adorned not with posters of bands and anime, but of scenic paintings instead. In one half, a study table was tucked in the corner, with a mini-bookshelf beside it, lined with thick books and musical magazines, and a wardrobe to finish. In the other, a single bed, with a guitar leaned against its wooden frame. 

Simple and clean, just like Sayo herself.

As she edged deeper into the room, a soft breathing from her right caught her attention.

The girl she'd been searching for all evening was lying on her bed in a tranquil state of rest. The upper half of Sayo's face was regrettably covered — her forehead with a cold compress, and her eyes with a sleep mask. Hina must have put those on for her, since there was a pair of crossed eyes printed on the mask's exterior. Her mouth was slightly ajar to facilitate her breathing, which slow and deep. The thick sheets of blankets moved in tandem with Sayo's chest, rising and falling steadily in accordance with her inhalation.

Tsugumi swallowed at the sight. Shaking her head, she tore away to set the glasses on the study table— 

_Clunk._

A sharp, stabbing pain shot through Tsugumi's pinky toe as it struck the leg of a nearby swivel chair with a resounding thunk. Eyes watering, she bit onto her lower lip in an attempt to prevent herself from crying out in pain.

_Ow…! Silly Tsugu!_

She prayed that her fumbling wasn't loud enough to wake Sayo up, but the rustling of the sheets behind her suggested otherwise.

"Mm… Hina?" A dreary mutter drifted from the bed. "Did you put this sleep mask on for me…?"

Tsugumi was screaming internally. She chided her inner klutz, but more importantly, what was she going to do? Would Sayo be shocked by the appearance of a wild Tsugumi in her room when she least expected it? Was she going to be thrown out?

"Hina? Are you there?"

"Umm… yeah… O-onee-chan. Are you feeling any better?"

Oh god. She had probably just complicated the situation tenfold. 

Tsugumi had believed that Sayo wouldn't be able to recognize her—since her senses were supposedly handicapped—hence her trying to pass off as Hina. Why didn't she think this through first?! Not to mention that addressing Sayo as her elder sister was weirding her out, especially when she didn't have any siblings, and she was labelling Sayo of all people as such.

She braced herself to be called out, any second now…

But Sayo broke the silence after a short pause, as if everything were normal. "Not really. My joints are still aching, and I think the fever hasn't subsided at all."

She heaved a sigh a relief, slowly regaining her composure. If Sayo hadn't realized it, she obviously wasn't going to complain. She should go along with the flow for now.

First things first... feeding Sayo the medicine.

Grabbing the painkillers and the glass of water off the table, she wheeled the offending chair over to Sayo's bedside. "Please open your mouth, Onee-chan," Tsugumi mumbled. "I've some painkillers that'll help you ride out the pain till morning." 

Sayo complied wordlessly. 

Tsugumi brought her shaking fingers closer, and dropped the pills into her open mouth. Shifting further up, she slid her hands under Sayo's upper back and gently propped her into a semi-sitting position, allowing her to take small, measured sips from the glass without the risk of choking. 

She could feel the moist cotton of Sayo's nightwear, laden heavily with perspiration as she lowered the guitarist back into a comfortable position. Desperately fighting to clear her head of any shred of indecency, she readjusted the cold compress which had slid off Sayo's face during the moving process. She tucked her back under the blankets, huffed, and dropped onto the chair. 

That wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry for causing you trouble."

"It's fine. Also, I've told Tsugu...chan about what happened, so you can rest easy. She told me that she'd contact you tomorrow instead."

"I see," Sayo simply said.

Tsugumi wasn't sure what overcame her, but a instinctive desire to protect the girl before her assumed control, tossing away any sense of hesitation. Reflexively, she reached out, placing a hand on Sayo's forearm.

"Hey, did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?"

The room became hushed for a moment.

"It's just… it's been a string of unfortunate events," Sayo began slowly. "Stacked one after the other that snowballed into a huge mess, and I let the pressure get to me."

So it really was because of a bad day. A small, nagging voice at the back of Tsugumi's head berated her for overthinking earlier, and not having listened to Himari's words of comfort. 

"Today must've been tough to push through," Tsugumi comforted her, allowing her fingers to trail delicately along Sayo's heated skin.

"I burned the midnight oil, because Hanasakigawa's student council is desperately short on manpower at the moment with a huge backlog to clear. I lost track of time while handling the paperwork, and it was nearly morning by the time I was done," Sayo murmured ruefully. "I had to attend an impromptu archery session after classes today, which almost made me late for band practice. Then I was tackling my homework when Hazawa-san contacted me, and you know the rest."

Exhaling deeply, she continued. "I could've handled it better, admittedly. Spacing out my work and injecting breaks in between was necessary, but I was tunneled on completing the tasks before my scheduled deadlines. And, well…" Sayo trailed off. "This wouldn't have been a problem if you were in my shoes."

There wasn't any hint of anger or irritation behind her assertion. Just a deflated flatness. Tsugumi hesitated. Sayo had periodically confided in Tsugumi regarding her onerous battle with her inferiority complex, and she was aware that Sayo was doing her best to completely rid herself of that undesirable perception. But she wasn't sure how the guitarist acted towards Hina when it came to direct contact.

"You don't have to compare yourself with me, Onee-chan," she said quietly. "You are your own person. You're boppin' because it's you, and not even I can replicate how… umm, zappin' you are."

Sayo made a non-committal grunt upon hearing the trademarked words. "I swear I'll never be able to fully understand your language," she grumbled. "But I suppose you're right. All I can do is to push forward with everything I have, and hope for the best."

Tsugumi could painfully empathize with Sayo's last sentence. After all, they were both plain, normal girls who were devoid of talent, driven only by the determination to realize what their hearts set to achieve.

"A-anyway!" she moved on quickly, eager to deviate from the gloomy topic. "What were you meeting with Tsugu-chan for?"

She could feel Sayo positively stiffen up. "You're being awfully nosy, Hina. This doesn't really concern you."

Tsugumi gaped, flummoxed. What on earth happened to Sayo being more honest?!

She lifted her hand from Sayo's arm. "I-I'm sorry." 

It seemed as if Sayo regretted her words, because when she spoke again, the sharpness had melted from her tone.

"I wanted to apologize."

Tsugumi blinked. "Eh?"

"We ran into each other when my band practice was done at CiRCLE," Sayo elaborated. "Hazawa-san called out to me just as I was about to leave, and I responded in an unbefitting manner. Even if I wasn't thinking straight, it was an inexcusable display of impudence."

An indescribable well of elation burst within Tsugumi. Sayo wasn't mad with her! This was all just a misunderstanding! 

 _Her_ misunderstanding.

It was all she could do to contain her happiness. "I'm sure she'll understand once you clarify things with her!"

"I hope so." 

Silence fell over the room once again.

"Onee-chan, what do you think of Tsugu-chan?"

Finally, she'd asked the question that had been badgering her since she first developed feelings for Sayo. It felt like she was cheating, not having directly asked this as herself, but she couldn't wait any longer. She wanted to know.

"This really feels like an interrogation," Sayo groused. 

She paused, contemplating for a while.

"Hazawa-san's a truly wonderful person. Polite, hardworking to the core, and filled to the brim with selflessness. I admire her immensely. She offers her everything in anything she aims to accomplish: whether it's school-related, band-related, even when it comes to baking. Not only that, she looks out for everyone who's embarked on the journey with her. No matter who it is, she supports them to the best of her abilities. Hazawa-san was the one who widened my perception to a spectrum of the world that I thought was unfathomable before. I thought I had reached my growth ceiling, but..."

Each sincere word conjured a fresh wave of adrenaline, which pumped through her veins with a surging intensity. Those were the words Tsugumi had been longing to hear for months. And yet… something felt wrong about this.

Those words were meant for Hina. Not her. She wanted those words to be directed towards Hazawa Tsugumi. She wanted to hear them as Hazawa Tsugumi. And perhaps...

"—it's a shame that she's so fixated on hoisting those around her that she ultimately forgets to look within herself, to discover the strong points of her own... Hina?" Sayo was interrupted by Tsugumi's sudden movement. "What are you up to now—"

Tsugumi had bent herself over the bed, and her hands were hovered over Sayo's face. Steadily, she pushed the sleep mask up to reveal Sayo's surprised expression.

"Hazawa—?"

Eyes closed, Tsugumi took the plunge.

Now, she wasn't an experienced kisser by any means—this being her first time—but even she could recognize that something felt off. Her mouth was pressing against something that was narrow and rigid in shape, and as she adjusted herself, the object started to protrude, its pointed tip attempting to spread her lips open.

".... that's my nose, Hazawa-san."

_Oh no. Just how many times was she going to mess things up?!_

She pulled away instantly, about to blurt an apology for her rashness, but Sayo shot her arms out in one swift motion, wrapping them securely around her neck. Tsugumi gasped as Sayo pulled her close, and for the first time that night, she was able to appreciate Sayo's glamour in its entirety. A light sheen of perspiration dotted her brow, and her cheeks were colored with a deep tinge of crimson. The keyboardist could only wonder if that was really because of her body temperature. Yet, those captivating eyes disputed any form of disinclination; they burned with a fiery resolve as they darted around to drink Tsugumi in.

Her fingers traced down the nape of Tsugumi's neck tantalizingly, eventually resting on her shoulders. There wasn't any time to think as Sayo pulled down, connecting them together at long last.

Her lips, dry and slightly cracked, brushed against Tsugumi's own. Softly and delicately, like butterfly wings. It was just long enough for Sayo to share her breath, feel the warmth of her skin, and taste the lingering scent of coffee she'd drank hours ago. Tsugumi found her fingers slinking its way to Sayo's face, cupping her cheeks gently. The need to touch her was all consuming, and Tsugumi lost herself in the passion of the kiss. Her heart was thrumming wildly, and she could already feel her knees threatening to buckle. It was all she could muster to keep herself standing, bent over in this awkward position.

Still, the only way that Tsugumi could describe this… was pure bliss. This surpassed everything she'd ever dreamed or fantasized about. It was a passionate fragment of time that Tsugumi wished would last for an eternity.

Alas, they had to break apart eventually, but Tsugumi couldn't resist; she shifted upwards to nibble on the tip of Sayo's nose once more, planting a light kiss on its bony exterior, before finally pulling away shyly. 

She wasn't sure what to say next.

"I have to be honest," Sayo piped up as she sat up, resting her back against the bed's frame. Her expression was surprisingly unchanging. "Your acting was pretty dreadful, Hazawa-san."

Tsugumi's mouth gaped open. Was her impersonation that terrible, to the point where Sayo could still differentiate her from Hina with her restricted sensory capabilities?

"S-so you knew?!"

"From the first word you said upon entering this room." Sayo couldn't resist a laugh, visibly failing to contain her amusement. "Besides, Hina is anything but introspective. And I'm sure you know that she likes to shoot her mouth off, for better or worse. So it wasn't just your voice; the whole conversation we had was a dead giveaway."

"But…" Tsugumi repeated to Sayo what Hina had told her earlier.

Sayo let out a long sigh of resignation at the end of her recount. "What Hina said about the model of the psyche was correct, but everything after that was utter rubbish. The superego doesn't just _vanish_ like that, much less from the common flu. My guess is that she had good intentions, but she tricked you in order to achieve that for some reason." 

She was shaking her head in mock disapproval. "I also noticed that you were using Hina's lingo... do you actually know the meaning of those words? Because I don't, and I've been hearing them for years on end."

"Umm..." Tsugumi trailed off. She was reminded of Kaoru again, and this time, it was her universal answer to every difficult question.

"Basically, it's.... you know. It means exactly what I just said."

Sayo chuckled dryly. "Nice try, but I don't think it's a good idea to follow speech patterns you're unfamiliar with. Though I have to admit, it was pretty cute when you were calling me "Onee-chan"."

"Uwah!" Tsugumi wailed, feeling the heat creep into her cheeks. "Let's not mention that ever again! I should've just been braver in the first place…"

"But you were," Sayo countered. "You took the first step, which was admittedly a huge leap, but that provided me the opportunity to open up my feelings for you. Which I haven't finished saying, come to think of it."

Sayo swung her legs off the bed and positioned herself on its edge, her knees touching the keyboardist's. Taking Tsugumi's hands into her own, their palms touched as their fingers entwined. It was an inexplicable feeling for the Afterglow member, being securely bound with the person she was enamoured with like this. The guitarist's free hand roamed absentmindedly to Tsugumi's face, her thumb brushing lightly across her lips.

"I love you, Haza...Tsugumi-san. I'm grateful for stepping into your shop six months ago, and I'm grateful for the friendship we've shared since then. But now, I've a selfish request." 

She paused, her eyes still trained onto Tsugumi's. "I want you to accompany me on my journey as my partner, as I seek to discover my true self and my sound. And I'm going to be honest. An imperfect person like me, falling in love with someone as amazing as you… is it really okay?" 

She could detect the slightest bit of trepidation embedded in Sayo's question. 

"Will I be enough to meet your standards?" 

Tsugumi was so overwhelmed with joy, she could feel herself in danger of crying right there and then. Quickly, she pulled Sayo into a hug so she wouldn't see the first tear welling from the corner of her eye. 

"You aren't the only one who's imperfect, Sayo-san," she whispered. "So am I. But together, I believe we'll be able to complete each other, and fill up the void that is missing in the both of us."

She nuzzled her head against Sayo's shoulder. "I love you, Sayo-san. I only wished I said it sooner."

"Me too," Sayo murmured in agreement, placing a light peck on Tsugumi's cheek. She could feel a smile forming on her lips against her skin. "And if you were to catch my cold, rest assured, I'll be sure to take care of you. Properly, of course."

They broke the hug. As they stared at each other, Tsugumi noticed something that was shrouded behind Sayo's glimmering eyes, something she had never seen before.

"You're my responsibility now, after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally deleted off the second chapter, so I'm just re-uploading it back here. That was a big oopsie.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try writing in a style that was slightly different than what I would usually write, so I hope this turned out alright.


End file.
